I couldn’t write characters like these in a manuscript, because readers would find it unbelievable that anyone could be so stupid.
Texas authorities, responding to a store robbery, seized a man who was fleeing naked. He said he'd stripped after the job because he figured his clothes would make him identifiable.
An inmate who escaped from County Jail in an orange jumpsuit broke into the theater department at Baylor to slip into something less conspicuous. Police apprehended the escapee in a leprechaun costume.
Police in Georgia, investigating a purse snatching, picked up a man who fit the thief's description and drove him back to the scene. He was told to exit the car and face the victim for an I.D. The suspect carefully eyed the victim, and blurted, "Yeah, that's the woman I robbed."
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"
A South Carolina man walked into a local police station, dropped a bag of cocaine on the counter, informed the desk sergeant that it was substandard cut, and asked that the person who sold it to him be arrested immediately.
A man in Utah called the police to report a home burglary. The only thing he reported stolen was a bag of marijuana he’d planned to sell.
A pair of robbers in Michigan entered a store nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
Police in Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man after he tried to pass two counterfeit $16 bills.
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake.
A man on trail in Oklahoma City for the armed robbery of a convenience store was acting as his own attorney. When the store manager testified that he was the robber, the man jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, "I should of blown your [expletive] head off!" He paused, then quickly added, "- if I'd been the one that was there." The jury took 20 minutes to convict him.
A drug-possession defendant on trial in Michigan said he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer didn't need a warrant because a "bulge" in the defendant’s jacket could have been a gun. Nonsense, said the defendant, who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He handed it over so the judge could see it. The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket.
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