One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, "Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!"
His wife was not amused and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.
The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. "What the hell is this?" he said as a little "dust" cloud appeared when he shook them out.
"April," he hollered into the bathroom, "Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?"
"It's not talcum powder," she replied. "It's Miracle Grow."