Something To Make You Smile

The things kids say...

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One day a first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part where Chicken Little warns the farmer "The sky is falling!" The teacher then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"

One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said Holy shit! A talking chicken!"

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An exasperated mother whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"

The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I’ll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, For Heaven’s sake, come in or stay out!"

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A small boy was sent to bed by his father.

Five minutes later:
"Da-aaad!"
"What?"
"I’m thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Go to sleep."

Five minutes later:
"Da-aaad!"
"What?"
"I’m thirsty. Can I have a drink of water?"
"I told you no. If you ask again, I’ll have to spank you!"

Five minutes later:
"Da-aaad! When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

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A four-year-old child came into the bedroom as her mother was undressing to get in the shower. Mom was six months pregnant.

"Mommy, you’re getting fat!" the little girl said.

"Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."

"I know," her daughter replied, "but what’s growing in your butt?"